I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
