I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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