You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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