marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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