You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
