Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Shame - the story of my life.
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