Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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