you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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