Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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