If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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