Ambien. No doubt about it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
