I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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