she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
