He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
