saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
honey bunches of taint.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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