I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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