Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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