Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
