The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize