your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
