You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize