What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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