I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
