its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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