I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
