About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I did not marry a roomba.
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