Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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