That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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