Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
