They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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