I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
