sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
