But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
