And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I want a musical about memes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
