so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
