i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
