i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
