Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
