): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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