Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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