This is not my ceiling
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
