do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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