my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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