I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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