Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
