I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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