now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
