I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
