My cat gives me a boner
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
