he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
