so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
