You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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