He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
