he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
