Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
