Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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