then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
