it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
