All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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